The weeks are passing so quickly and I have been reflecting on the importance of our unconscious mind programming.

It might seem a somewhat sterile way to describe a human but our minds are an incredible computer that will either serve us to move forward to our goals or not.

It’s fair to say that I am still in the early days of being free from alcohol and therefore I am still in the process of re-training myself to deal with irrational and unhelpful thoughts. Allowing these feelings and emotions to swell up is not a very helpful thing and therefore it is vital that you are able to put them in place with rational responses.

Often what out minds are thinking subconsciously are consciously is irrational – sometimes this serves us and in the case of alcohol it often does not.

Below are a few of my thoughts and statements that might cause you or indeed me to want to drink. Under each statement is a more rational response. Have a think about some of the dialogue in your head around alcohol.

The unconscious minds statements / believes:

“I believe that Alcohol is the only way I can feel happy.”

This is incorrect because when I finished my run, had a laugh with my colleagues and drove a Mercedes AMG it made me feel very happy.

“I am feeling sick and tired and a little foggy – alcohol will alleviate this.”

No it won’t – alcohol will make me feel a little giddy for about 60 minutes, it will then make me thirsty and hungry and then I will want to eat. I will eat lots of food and fall asleep and wake up feeling very guilty and thirsty. I will then feel even more tired as over the days I repeat and fight the cycle of drink, eat, sleep repeat. I will therefore end up even more tired and foggy.

“Alcohol would make all this go away for a bit – I don’t care.”

Alcohol will not take “this” go away for a bit – it will take it away for a bit and then kick start a long-term battle of pain for you again as long as you believe it to have a benefit. The pain will feel like regret and all areas of your life will suffer again – health, relationships, spirituality, work, hobbies, aspirations. Alcohol will make you feel miserable again for a very long time.

“Life is boring without alcohol and I can’t celebrate or commiserate without it.”

Alcohol doesn’t enable you to celebrate – it’s the environment, people, surroundings and your own personal feelings that do this. If you were to sit alone in a room drinking alcohol you would feel sad and look ridiculous. You would not enjoy the alcohol on it’s own without any other stimuli – fact. It would seem pointless and a waste of time. Alcohol can therefore not be the drug that allows you to celebrate or commiserate.

“Alcohol gives me wings and makes me want to fly.”

Alcohol gives you love handles and makes you want to sleep.

“I can’t do this anymore I need a drink.”

What is “this” exactly that you can’t do – and how will alcohol allow you to do “this” exactly – Alcohol is not a magical potion that will solve “this” anymore – it will make you feel fuzzy, then gradually reduce your cognition and make whatever you are trying to do worse. For example if you have had a stressful day and not dealt with some conflict alcohol will not make the conflict go away – it will be their tomorrow but this time you will have to deal with it feeling even more depressed and with a hangover.

Have a think about some of the thoughts you have around alcohol and create a response that is far more closure to the truth.

I hope that this has served you in some small way.

Sam

I feel that there is a movement happening around well-being, health and freedom from alcohol.

Society may just be starting wake up to the fact that the old stereotypes of alcohol are indeed “old-hat”. The man on the bench with a bottle wrapped in newspaper looking lost and dishevelled is an image which no longer represents the heart of the matter. It also doesn’t represent how alcohol affects our society (particularly western society).

I see and hear through my readings and as I increase my knowledge of alcohol week on week that more and more people are nipping alcohol in the bud before it becomes a problem.

They are waking up to the fact that by consuming alcohol in any capacity has an immediate limiting effect on their lives. This intoxicating mild anaesthetic not only affects them in the short term but also over the duration of weeks that they consume it – it has a building up effect.

It’s not until they stop that they realise just quite the impact that this has had on them. When I refer to society I am talking about the majority of drinkers whether they are weekend party animals or daily two large glass of wine type personalities, whether they think alcohol is a problem for them or not. It is becoming more acceptable to take on a challenge of freedom and quit.

Government guidelines are themselves an inexact science as each individual will still be affected differently by this substance. The mere fact that most Governments provide a framework of limitation of this substance should be a cause for alarm.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could arrive at a place where stopping alcohol is a celebration and supported openly in our society – a little like quit smoking campaigns. The evidence I see for this is in the increasing amount of blogs, campaigns and books supporting this.

As I arrive at week 16 (reported a little late) I hope hat eventually we do arrive at a place that celebrates this freedom without questioning.

I hope this has served you in some small way.

Sam

 

 

… I watched a little chap at my daughters sports day persevere as he kept on dropping his bean bag over and over and over again.

He picked it up, put it back on his table tennis bat and dropped it repeatedly until he realised that something needed to change.

All the other little people had finished the race (most of whom cheated I might add) but he picked up his bean bag one final time and on this occasion he put his hand behind his back and walked as slow as a snail, step by step to the finish line in full control and with little emotion. That small change of pace, adjustment and perseverance meant that he completed the race not only adhering to the rules but also learning something along the way.

Pausing, reflecting and re-booting is a little like this little boys experience. When I write my next steps I find it helpful to think of this example.

You see fundamentally I have most of the right things in place to keep moving forward but this small reflection time is beneficial. I have my weekly routines, I’m looking at my health, I’m practising mindfulness and being more present than ever before – everything is generally aligned but there is just one thing I need to do right now and this is my next step.

Like that little boy I know what I am doing, I know the technique, I know how to progress my journey to the finish line but I just need to slow down and take my time. After all I’ve got the rest of my life – enjoy it.

I hope this has served you in some small way.

I’ve reached a milestone in that I feel the need to STOP and reflect. Just like a computer that is running a little slow I need a clean up and a reset and my files defragmenting.

We all need that sometimes and it’s often centred around a lack of clarity or sense of direction and therefore reward from our personal progress.

I’m doing really well and I can’t believe that time is passing so quickly and how far I have come.

What is important to remember is just how far I have come during the last 3 months or so – my life quite literally has been turbo boosted like a retro 1980s Japanese super car that has been modified by some over zealous spotty teenager enthusiasts.

All it needs is some simple reflection time and I know one of the most useful tools is the lifestyle balance pie. I’ve mentioned this before but it really is a useful tool or in other terms the “wheel of life.”

Here is an example of a Wheel of Life that will then allow you to go away and maybe break down what areas you need to focus on what and what next steps you will have in these areas:

Quite simply all you do is fill out on a scale of 1-10 your feelings on how each of your life arenas is going (where zero is really bad and 10 is fab and all sorted).

You can change the main titles but it’s really important that they reflect your key value areas in your life that will reflect in you well being.

Here is the embedded link so you can do the same too. Simply make a copy of the document for your files and change your Gradings and Value Titles.

Here’s the link:

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/e/2PACX-1vS8hHlkL__ZAe_wQ0PVrNk98IpTsUE4SCwxSg0NLbLuyWiPaF-QNReILXrzaJ5uWzokpm0LFJrftjfV/pubhtml

I’ll post shortly on next steps and how to co-ordinate these but a good place to start is by breaking down your three lowest scoring areas – so in this example it maybe friendships, adventures and hobbies.

I hope this has served you in some small way.

Sam

I’ve just driven a rapid 40 minute journey in my car – most of which I can’t remember. Despite this my mind has processed more in this short time than I am even consciously aware of.

The things that I have been able to identify on reflection sit in the categories of (1) planning for the rest of day (2) thinking about what I need to be prepared for for tomorrow (3) reflecting on my past week of mindfulness (4) anticipating what I will need to do to influence a person(s) / situation in the future (5) how I will install my latest music hardware (6) how I will respond to someone I had an emotional email from (7) …. to be honest I could go on and on – forget the categories – it’s just busy!

I know I’m no different to any other person on this little blue planet of ours who also posses an amazing 100 billion neurons in their brains. They too are constantly processes thoughts and being truely awesome (“awesome” a word used far too often to describe something which is rather mundane but in this case it’s true).

The human mind is phenomenal and what is even more reassuring is it’s plasticity complete with the ability to change and evolve new pathways over time. So this actually means we all have the ability to change our state of mind and thought patterns. The best way I think to bring this to life is to imagine a muscle. You exercise the muscle at the gym through weights and repetition and sure enough it grows. The same goes for our thoughts and brain.

Sometimes these thought patterns are helpful to us and sometimes they only serve to be negative but they all have the common them of being able to be altered. This leads me to the power of mindfulness and the power that we all possess that is choice. The choice to decide whether we start our day on a positive note, the choice to decide who we marry, where we work and what our beliefs are. And the choice to decide what we are NOT going to do.

So as I wrote last week on the trickeness of a moment where I wanted to consume the beautifully packaged poison – I now remind myself that change takes time and that is okay. It’s easier to put on weight than take it off. However with each repetition and exercise of the right thoughts I will continue to move in the right direction.

So this week I will continue to practice a quieter mind each day using headspace.com so I have more present (in the moment) journeys. And during the times when I might have a craving or feel negative I will little more reflection and acceptance of the moment.

I hope this has served you in some small way.

Sam

 

 

 

Hey there … it’s perfectly normal to hit a wall. I’ve just searched the internet for “feeling flat when sober.” The return that came back was as follows:

https://soberistas.wordpress.com/2013/03/04/the-4-emotional-stages-of-sobriety/

It’s an old post but helpful to some degree – in fact the internet is amazing and very helpful as a tool – normally someone somewhere has experienced something you are going through!

Today is a fabulously warm sunny British day – the thermometer has reached 29 degrees Celsius (84 Fahrenheit) and the World (from my angle anyway) seems to have a smile on it’s face.

England has just kicked off their football match and everyone it seems is either locking themselves in their living rooms or heading out to the nearest bar to watch the match. I’m not really that into football however it’s hard not to become mopped up in the excitement and focus around the World Cup.

I’ve just been shopping for tonight’s dinner goods and my thoughts are worryingly “alcohol loss” focused.

What do I mean by this … quite simply that I feel like I am missing out on not drinking.

So I’ve just stopped to ask myself some questions why?

I’ve also stopped to ask myself the question; where have you come from and why are you doing this in the first place?

I recall one of my earlier quotes from going free in week 1:

“Alcohol is the most powerfully deceptive drug on planet earth. You weakened its hold on you by quitting the first time around but you can’t kill it. Alcohol will never change. It will never get less harmful or be able to be controlled. Every time, you go back to it the outcome will be the same. It will smile nicely, tell you it loves you and then immediately try to kill you.” (Craig Beck, Alcohol Lied To Me Again, 2014).

Alcohol is currently smiling nicely at me in all it’s glory. I’m not here to have a battle with it – I’m simply here to remember what it is – beautifully packaged poison.

So what’s changed:

• I’m currently on a break this week and it’s probably the first time I have had in a while to sit in my head quietly.
• I’m in the process of buying a new property.
• It’s sunny and I feel like I’m on holiday – well I am on holiday and it is sunny! Sun and holiday used to = beer.
• There’s a realisation in my mind that the short term high and relaxation I got with alcohol is not achievable through other mediums at this time – for example running, writing, cooking or carrying out any other things I enjoy.

So what am I going to do to respond to this?

• Pause – slow down and just quietly and mindfully ride through the next few hours.
• Remember where I have come from – 3 months ago  was sick and tired of being sick and tired. My health was not the best (skin, weight, mental well being etc) and I could not see into the future. I was walking in the Matrix – stuck.

3 Months later and I:

• I have progressed immeasurably both in mind and body.
• I have attending and completed several well being courses / I have run up to 5 km / I am looking after my health better and taking vitamins / I am achieving more at work and at home (I have sold my house) / I have been there more for my children / I have spoken more to family / I have treated myself better …

Quite a list I think to give up – so I’m not going to.

I must remember when I look back on myself in 5 years time what do I want to see? I know what this looks like in my mind and I will spend time visualising this.

So in summary:

1. Remember my “why?”
2. Celebrate my successes so far.
3. Visualise the future me …
4. and one more not mentioned – spend time in the present through practising mindfulness.

Visualise:

The benefits of drinking alcohol are no longer – there are none apart from the subconscious mind that has been programmed by the alcohol industry.

Feeling stronger.

I hope by sharing my experience I have served you in some small way.

Sam

 

It’s easy to keep on keeping on and forget to stop and think about your achievements- well it’s certainly the case for me anyway.

I’ve always been this way inclined when I have achieved something – just to let it pass and not really recognise it. It’s not intentional its just an innate feeling to want to keep moving forward – almost a case of “well if I don’t then things won’t keep moving forward.”

What I’ve come to recognise on this journey is that taking time out and recognising our achievements is so important – whether going alcohol free or something we have achieved at work/home or whatever. It’s how our brain is wired – and the more we recognise the little achievements and take note and allow ourselves reward the more likely we are to go on and achieve more – it’s scientifically proven.

One of the ways of helping of sit in the moment is to practice mindfulness.

“Mindfulness is the psychological process of bringing one’s attention to experiences occurring in the present moment, which can be developed through the practice of meditation and other training.”

I am dreadful when it comes to my mind wandering and this has particularly been the case in these first few weeks of freedom. So I’ve committed myself to practicing mindfulness more on a weekly basis  – indeed this morning I got up and rather than reaching for my mobile, device or going to check my emails I consciously took a moment out to take in the new day. I went downstairs, opened up my french doors and stood outside silent in the morning’s chill. I heard the dawn chorus of birds, the quiet breeze and felt the expectation of the day to come. I won’t lie – my mind was already quite noisy and I did feel rather groggy this morning but it was worth doing.

Being able to bring myself into the moment will be an important tool in my coping mechanisms now and in the future – whether for preventing myself from returning to old habits or whether helping myself in tricky situations at home and at work.

Specifically when referring to going free from alcohol Mindfulness Based Relapse prevention is often sited. The following page gives a really good one page summary of what this is:

https://www.mindfulrp.com/

I love this image which depicts mindfulness so well:

This is from http://frvf.co.uk/resources/mindfulness/

Maybe it’s something you should try or at least have a go at. I am going to persevere with it during the coming week.

There are other tools available at http://www.headspace.com and they also provide a fab app for Apple etc.

In the meantime I hope this has served you in some small way.

Sam

 

I’ve just completed another 5 km in thirty minutes. I dragged my butt of the bed and stepped outside … one step, two step … jog, repeat and done. This is the reward of alcohol freedom – it’s here NOW.

The reward isn’t located in the future or in the past. All I believe we can do with the past is learn and apply our experience – it’s no good dwelling. It’s also unacceptable in my mind to remain stationary and not progress – even if that progression still involves a degree of alcohol – oh controversial I hear you say. It’s not really because anyone who is on a journey to maximising their potential through alcohol freedom will have started somewhere.

My learning journey of understanding why I need to move away from alcohol started years ago – not months. It has involved reading, building up my knowledge and carrying out experiments on what does and doesn’t work for me. I knew I needed to go free in 2015 for goodness sake and we are now 2018. However all the things that I have learned – especially where they failed I am applying here and now.

One of the best pieces of advice I ever received when quitting alcohol for the first few days (and everyone’s journey is different) was to reduce in the first instance. I reduced my amount to below 10 units a night and was able to think more clearly and have more clarity to plan for my freedom day. It also aids with REM (rapide eye movement) sleep (the most restorative sleep) if you reduce your quantities of alcohol. So actually when my quite day this year I drank very little the night before and felt quite at ease on day one.

I’m definitely rambling today and I am not in flow – but I am happy and I know I am on the right journey.

I hope this has served you in some small way.

Sam

 

 

This little journey that we are all on was not designed to be easy.

It doesn’t matter whether you are stood on the corner of Regent’s Street selling papers or an entrepreneur unlocking a 10 million deal we all face our highs and lows, our challenges and revelations, our sadness and joys.

Breaking bad habits is no different – it takes perseverance, repetition and an acceptance that the short term discomfort is worth it in the long run. Sometimes this means that things can seem a bit mundane.

In order to break free from alcohol I have found in the last week certainly that I am becoming more accepting that I am going to have to repeat the mundane things in life. I am going to have to understand that sometimes this means that things cannot all be fireworks and deep blue Mediterranean seas. Sometimes I just have to work at repeating what is working and moving me forward and recognise the energy and power that this holds on its own. So in the case of last week it has literally been to eat, sleep, work and repeat my daily routines.

Of course there is more to it than this but what I am trying to represent is the treadmill that life sometimes is. It’s how I train myself to find pleasure and happiness in the simple things that will lead to success. The ability to pull myself back into the moment and accept that life does not permanently lie in the past or in the future. I have all that I need right here and now – this is where satisfaction is found and quite possibly excellence in delivering habitual change.

Things are definitely becoming easier for me and my new alcohol free habits are becoming well embedded. Sure I will continue to have the brain farts (several this week if not in double figures) but they are passing thoughts and are of little significance – So I accept them, don’t make too much of a fuss and let them pass. These are thoughts of “isn’t that scene on a summers evening with a glass of cold beer attractive” or “a cold beer would really help me relax right now.” I am not planning on these thoughts dissipating anytime soon – after all they taken a couple of decades to build so why would they dissipate overnight.

I think it’s a good sign that I’ve lost track of the weeks – Indeed think I’m a week behind blogging – sorry for posting late. “Why?” You ask. Because it means I’m less focused on counting the days from when I went free and more concerned about the life that I want to build in the here and now.

I hope you can relate to this in some small way.

Take Care …

Sam

 

 

 

I’ve been very clear from the start of my freedom journey that I would gradually make small changes to stepping in the right direction – not rushed or unmanageable but very achievable in their time, target and measure.

It’s all about gradually moving away from my old bad habits towards habits that serve me (and ultimately others) positively.

We’ve all seen the overweight runner out on a January morning after a skin full of food and drink during the festive period. We’ve all witnessed a yo-yo dieter who every so often goes on a full on diet overnight cutting out all the enjoyment in their life. I believe the problem with these approaches is that the overweight runner really doesn’t enjoy running and the reason your friend keeps putting back on the weight is because of their sense of loss – both of these approaches require significant will-power and I know now (after several significant attempts) that will-power does not work.

Consider this – is the runner that you see out every other morning for the whole year on your way to work really hating every minute of it – absolutely not – it’s part of who they are and they feel rewarded and happy by running. Yes it might take some effort some days but fundamentally they are enjoying the experience.

So , what about that person in your life who you are questioning – how have they managed to keep the weight off? I believe it’s quite simply because they are not experiencing loss rather it is adding to their life in a positive way – you’ll even wonder how they are able to consume that large piece of cake at the Christmas do (don’t kid yourself – no they don’t eat it every day!) but they don’t deny themselves the pleasure.

One common theme with all of the above does come back to habits – and making small changes that really are achievable so you don’t experience overwhelm in the case of running and severe loss in the case of dieting. The successful runner progresses in small steps and the diet changes maybe one or two things maximum at once.

In my case I’ve just completed 28 minutes of running today using the couch to 5 km app. You can find it here:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/get-inspired/43501261

The progress starts with walking and running – maybe 90 seconds running and then 90 seconds rest and it gradually build up over 9 weeks to 5 km. To be honest I’ve taken a little longer than this and on the days where I have felt tired or a little rough I have just allowed my body to rest.

I’ve also been running probably on average just twice a week and again this has meant that it has taken longer – but I’m nearly their and really proud and most importantly happier.

I’ve had to control my need to win (this has always been a driver) which is probably one of the reasons I ended up here at freedomalcohol.com. I have this insatiable desire to push myself to the limit (it’s a pre-programmed historical thing) so I’m retraining this mindset to allow myself to be consistent over the long-term.

I hope this has served you in some small way and that my rambles make a little sense. With a full on work and family schedule – delivering the nations food and being the best engaged dad I can I can only devote a minute amount of time to this. However I know that this small investment is a critical cornerstone in my weekly habits.

Continue to persevere learn and grow – all the best.

Sam